I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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