i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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