im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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