It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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