Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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