In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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