Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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