I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
