i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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