You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His hands were made for my vagina.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
