my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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