OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
