i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
