Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
