the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
