how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize