The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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