I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
