summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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