There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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