mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
