Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
