Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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