You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
