the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
