Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
