He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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