White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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