in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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