I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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