i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
