butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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