1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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