wat bout pragnant strippers??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
