i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize