My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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