I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
