YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
