We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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