i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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