If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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