Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
