i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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