I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
