Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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