i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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