Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
