Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
