I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
