Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize