This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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