How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
