we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
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When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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