Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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