I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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