I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
