my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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