i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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