apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
