This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
