haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
