so that wasnt chicken after all
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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