Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
